God made us relational beings- that is, He made us dependent. First and foremost, we are dependent on Him; we are also, however, dependent on other believers. God often uses people to shape us and to mold our faith in Him. My mom has undoubtedly had one of the largest impacts on helping me find my faith, but I think that this past school year, she demonstrated faith in such a powerful way that I was forced into a new realization of just how tremendous the force faith really is.
This year in particular, my faith has been tested over and over again. When I was most shaken to the core, it was often hard for me to trace my own faith. Caught up in doubt, worry, and stress, I found myself faithless. I never doubted that God was present, but I was faithless in the sense that I got so wrapped up in my trials that I was unable to recognize and take comfort in knowing that his sovereign hand was carrying me the whole time. I have called my mom so many times, crying, angry, frustrated, and each time she has reminded me of the strength and faithfulness of my God. But, now, looking in retrospect, I think there was more to it than that.
I am beginning to wonder now, that in the midst of my trials, when I was most faithless, whose faith it was that carried me through. It was my mom’s faith in God that was a crutch to help me find my own faith in God. This is the first time I have truly recognized the transcendent presence of faith; that is, recognizing faith as something greater than just myself. I have always thought of my faith rather selfishly, failing to recognize that it is a powerful testimony to others. Perhaps this also explains why prayers are often so selfish- it is easy to pray for things that we ourselves need. When we pray for others, our faith operates in a manner such that it intervenes for the needs of others. This is the first thing she taught me: my faith alone has not carried me through trials; I have also been supported by the faith of others. In the same way, I must realize that my own faith is not simply my own; but rather, it is to provide faith for others when they find themselves faithless.
The second thing is not so much something that she taught me, but rather that she gave me. I called her one day in utter dismay and she told me this: “Even when I am not here any more, you always have to remember that God is in control, and He allows things to happen for a reason- You have to ALWAYS remember that, even when I am gone” I did not want to hear her say that- I can’t bear to think of a day when I can’t call her. She is the only one that knows what to say to me. But, the truth is this: in this world, we are all temporary beings. She gave me more than consolation; she gave me a piece of her faith. Though we have a limited span of time in this world, our faith does not. My mom has given me pieces of her own faith- her own faith, a faith that has been forged through her trials and triumphs that has now become a part of my own faith.
We don’t always realize the power of faith, and sometimes, our faith speaks infinitely more than our words.