When I was younger, I would put a Band-Aid on everything. If I had a bruise – Band-Aid. If I had the smallest papercut – Band-Aid. While I thought it was the Band-Aid that would make me feel better, I’m coming to realize that it was less of the Band-Aid itself, and more of the act of getting one.
I knew exactly where the Band-Aids were, but instead of getting one myself, I would always go to my sisters or my parents. I brought them the hurt, as small as it was, and instead of me knowing how to deal with it, I trusted that they knew what would make me feel better. Maybe a Band-Aid, yes, but they would always give so much more: a hug, a kiss – love.
It seems that I was a lot wiser back then, to know that the first step to heal was to bring the hurt to someone who could give me, not only the Band-Aid, but more.
We see in today’s Gospel that the centurion approached Jesus with the hurt:
“Lord, my servant is lying at home paralyzed, suffering dreadfully.”
There is no request after that. He simply brings the hurt. And with that Jesus immediately says,
“I will come and cure him.”
It is hard to find rest on a campus where there is always a reading to be done, a meal to catch, and a meeting to attend. I catch myself thinking, “well, I’m lucky to be here, and to have this life, because there are so many more people going through so much more. There’s no hurt that could ever overcome the blessings.”
Yes, that’s all true. But, this is me trying to find the Band-Aid myself, rather than bringing the hurt to Christ, no matter how trivial it seems to his larger plan. I might end up with a Band-Aid, but how much more can I get by going to God, just as I am? Then, does that mean until I take my hurt to him, I won’t be healed?
God meets us exactly where we are.
The centurion says,
“Lord I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof; only say the word and my servant shall be healed”
The idea of being unworthy always stuck out to me, but more recently, I started to think that when we believe we are not worthy enough to have Christ enter our roof, he instead meets us where we are. He says that we are worthy enough to enter under his roof, and invites us to “go up to the house of the Lord” as mentioned in the first reading and psalms for today.
Whether I hear his words or not, he can heal. Whether I bring my pain to him immediately, or search on my own and get to his Father’s house – exhausted from the journey – he can heal. Faith is trusting that God can do anything, regardless of the circumstance but Love is choosing to make decisions based on that faith, and receiving what God has to offer. I can have faith as I live out my life trying to find the Band-Aid, but if I love, I should be able to make the choice to trust and let God love me, and the hurt I bring to Him.
At times we are the servant, in need of someone like the centurion to help bring our hurt to Christ. During this advent season, may we recognize that we walk not alone:
“Come, let us climb the Lord’s mountain, to the house of the God of Jacob, that he may instruct us in his ways, and we may walk in his paths.”
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Nam Hyun Kim ’21 is a sophomore in Eliot.